We bid a fond farewell to the very pretty Aroma Teahouse and hopped back in the car with Henry and Gao, ready for our 4 Star Li River cruise – the second part of the experience package we’d booked on Viator.
Henry once again delivers on the facts – a dream for a couple of awkward nerds like us – as we’d discussed our wanderings through last nights packed crowds and more live music.
Top facts of the car journey were:
- Crowds in China are referred to at ‘people mountain, people sea’ (Rén shān rén hǎi).
- If something is average or ‘so so’, you can say ‘Mǎmǎ hǔhǔ’ (which oddly translates to English as ‘horse horse, tiger tiger).
- The singers we heard around the lake were most likely Zhuang people, the largest non-Han Chinese, minority group in the country. They are famous for their beautiful singing voices. Each year they have a 3-day holiday and singing-meets-dating competition, where songs are sung and a silk ball is thrown to signify interest in a potential partner. If they catch the ball, fab you are a certified singing hottie and you are on to the next round!
The Li River is one of China’s most famous scenic areas, running through the heart of Guangxi, taking tourists from Guilin to the riverside town of Yangshuo. Totalling 164km in length, it’s listed as one of the world’s top ten watery wonders and the sheer quantity of boats at the dock were a testament to it’s popularity,
Once again China excels in it’s organisation and comfort in any kind of transportation.
We hopped on the boat behind Henry and were greeted with brown leather armchairs, a linen-clothed, set table and a pot of Luo Han Guo (Monk fruit) tea. The many, many vessels executed an orderly and well-choreographed exit and then we were off.
Like a couple of excited kids, we didn’t stay in our squidgy seats for long, and soon clambered up to the astro-turfed viewing deck to clock the views. AND WHAT VIEWS! The winding river is lined with towering Phoenix Tail bamboo, dwarfed only by the incredible limestone rock formations.
Henry points out Crown Cave, a small opening onto the river that contains a small train from which you can view the amazing stalactites and stalagmites. Another small cave, much higher up, is where local people hid during World War II (China’s role as one of the ‘Big Four Allies’ in the war is often forgotten). The only giveaway is a small wooden bucket that hangs from a pulley system where they would bring up water, perfectly camouflaged against the red/brown rocks.
We weave through the countryside, spotting various murals, ending up at a clear favourite, the ‘Nine Horse Mural Hill’. We won’t lie, we had some issues spotting all 9. A few were clear as day, others we were defeated by the strength of the Chinese imagination. It was a fun game and clearly one Henry relished schooling us in.
The final view was the spot that is featured on the 20 yuan note. A must-take photo moment for all tourists apparently. Henner’s photo-snapping trigger finger was at the ready! We knew the drill by now – ‘say Qie-zi!’ (This actually means aubergine, but here that’s how you get a big cheesy grin from your models, and for a country that’s largely lactose-intolerant, it makes sense.)
Tourist box ticked and bosh, straight down for lunch where I enjoyed the equivalent of a Chinese beige buffet and Zach dined like a king on various meat dishes. Henry was not impressed with the standard of the buffet… it was simply ‘Mǎmǎ hǔhǔ’ for him. He did partake in some fruits before joining the other boat guests in an afternoon nap (napping seems to be big here). Us Brits were far too giddy with our surroundings to risk missing even a second with some shut-eye, so we ventured back up to the viewing deck.
The final views were of families chilling by the lake, people taking their water buffalo for a walk – as you do – and one zesty gent bashing out some karaoke to entertain the passing stream of boats. Shazam wasn’t helpful in identifying the tune sadly, but he was giving it beans so we cheered him on.
Then as we turned the corner past Xingping fishing village, little bamboo boats in their hundreds started passing us by, carrying tourists and all sporting Chinese patriotism in material form. There were more red flags than a Russell Brand stand up set. It was quite the thing to see! As the endless stream continued, Henners rejoined from his slumber to tell us all about the village and the two famous brothers who became cormorant fishing poster boys, putting the area on the map.
Both had factory jobs away from the town until one day ‘White Beard’, the older brother, was at home when a professional photographer visited the area and was looking for a model fisherman. He took up the mantel and soon realised there was cash to be made. He sprung his brother, ‘Black Beard’ from factory life into the heady world of river-based modelling and the rest is history. They’ve been posing for photographers and tourists for the last 15 years, making bank and featuring in a slew of magazines and documentaries.
The Yangshuo Countryside
Alas, our b-e-a-utiful cruise had ended… but fear not! The day was far from done.
After dodging the people mountain, people sea of visitors in Yangshuo town, we next made for the countryside where we were to ride scooters around crop fields. Zach had never scootered before and I had been sans-scooter since my trip to Vietnam in 2019 where I was less than confident. The awkward idiots abroad risk factor was high on this one folks!
Gratefully we didn’t embarrass ourselves or cause a pile-up (even as we dodged other riders, cars and pedestrians through the narrow country roads) and we had a really lovely time taking in the scenery and stopping to learn more about the types of veggies grown in the fields. Henry thought we may be green-fingered so was big on the detail, sadly no plant has been able to survive the fast-paced environment we call home, save for the plastic Ikea leafage we’ve now donated to most of our mates.
We drove down the Yulong river, a tributary of the Li, where more bamboo boats sporting Chinese flags passed by. The countryside area is apparently great for other activities including SUP, rock climbing, bicycle rides and even paragliding – if that’s the sort of thing that takes your fancy then I’d recommend staying a few days in this spot to pack it all in – it was a fair bit of a drive out of Yangshuo and there seemed to be loads of hostels and hotels to choose from.
After finally rinsing the font of knowledge that was Henry’s mind, it was time to bring our tour to a close. On the way to our next hotel, we passed a sea of sun-drying rice covering every available flat surface from people’s driveways to school basketball courts. I thought back fondly to the Longji Rice Terrace views of the previous day. What an incredible 48 hours we’d just had.
Thank you Henry & Gao!
H&Z x
Links:
Hotel – Guilin
Costs: £127.24 for 2 nights + lovely buffet breakfast. The hotel was beautiful and the location was fab – would recommend!
Costs: Around £600 for both of us and included all transfers across 4 days, private guide, lunches, admission for Longji & Li River Cruise, scooters through the countryside at Yangshao. It was a bigger expense but definitely felt worth it by the end of the tour. Gratuities not included.
The Awkward Travellers 
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